Monday, April 6, 2009

Descending Further Into Madness

Taper madness, of course. I am mad with it. If you stop by my blog from time to time, then, you get the (mis)fortune of being (mis)treated today-I give you my Twelve Days of Taper. Er, yeah. Never mind that Pfitz has a 3-week taper-Pfitzing guys and gals, forget that you know this. Or that there's not anyone who has a 12-day taper schedule for a marathon. You REALLY only want to see twelve lame taper-related items, though, and not twenty-one. Oh yeah, I have officially lost my mind.

On the first day of taper, my schedule gave to me

a phantom pain in the knee (and foot, and quad, and hamstring).

On the second day of taper, my schedule gave to me

two race website visits
and a phantom pain in the knee.

On the third day of taper, my schedule gave to me

three race day weather checks
two race website visits
and a phantom pain in the knee.

On the fourth day of taper, my schedule gave to me

four race day outfits
three race day weather checks
two race website visits
and a phantom pain in the knee.

On the fifth day of taper, my schedule gave to me (sing it with me)'

FIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE RECOVERY MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILES (ba dum dum dum)
four race day outfits
three race day weather checks
two race website visits
and a phantom pain in the knee.

On the six day of taper, my schedule gave to me

Six pairs of running socks
Five recovery miles
four race day outfits
three race day weather checks
two race website visits
and a phantom pain in the knee.

On the seventh day of taper, my schedule gave to me

Seven miles with strideouts
six pairs of running socks
five recovery miles
four race day outfits
three race day weather checks
two race website visits
and a phantom pain in the knee.

On the eighth day of taper, my schedule gave to me

Eight cups of water
Seven miles with strideouts
six pairs of running socks
five recovery miles
four race day outfits
three race day weather checks
two race website visits
and a phantom pain in the knee.

On the ninth day of taper, my schedule gave to me

Nine Geetah Straws (not going to take one and lose the one this time!)
Eight cups of water
Seven miles with strideouts
six pairs of running socks
five recovery miles
four race day outfits
three race day weather checks
two race website visits
and a phantom pain in the knee.

On the tenth day of taper, my schedule gave to me

Ten hours driving (each way!)
Nine Geetah Straws
Eight cups of water
Seven miles with strideouts
six pairs of running socks
five recovery miles
four race day outfits
three race day weather checks
two race website visits
and a phantom pain in the knee.

On the eleventh day of taper, my schedule gave to me

Eleven p.m. bedtime (I am too keyed up and excited!)
Ten hours driving
Nine Geetah Straws
Eight cups of water
Seven miles with strideouts
six pairs of running socks
five recovery miles
four race day outfits
three race day weather checks
two race website visits
and a phantom pain in the knee.

On the twelfth day of taper, my schedule gave to me

Twelve carb servings
Eleven p.m. bedtime
Ten hours driving
Nine Geetah Straws
Eight cups of water
Seven miles with strideouts
six pairs of running socks
five recovery miles
four race day outfits
three race day weather checks
two race website visits
and a phantom pain in the knee.

Now, aren't you glad I didn't try the full 21? ;) I will try to keep from driving others too crazy during my taper.

8 comments:

Black Bear! said...

Hahaha! I laughed out loud at the end. So, wait, you only are doing a 12 day taper? How did I miss that.

Girl In Motion said...

Lol! Totally loved this. Have a restful, wonderful week and may this weekend bring you the dream race you sooooo deserve!

Oz Runner said...

very clever....sorry about the phantom knee

DogPound said...

awesome! CANT WAIT FOR MINE!

sllygrl said...

Oh my gosh - I love your song - it would have taken me at least seven of those taper days to make that up! does this race have live tracking? You're going to do great! I've got Imogene Pass on the radar and was wondering if you were going to do it? I'd love to meet you in person. I'll peek at the forum to see how you did if I can't track you!!
Good luck! You are going to do awesome I just know it...

chasing dreams said...

Good luck - I'm rooting for you!

TiredMamaRunning said...

sllygrl, they don't have any of the as-you-watch splits coming in that you get at the larger race, BUT a radio station there will be broadcasting the race live online here:

http://www.ksallink.com/

My husband swears he could hear them doing their announcing thing somewhere on the video about the 2007 race on their website, and that they were calling out the names of finishers, but I don't remember this. At any rate...it starts at 7 a.m. Central, so if all the stars align I'll be coming in somewhere around 10:40 or so. :P

And yes, COME ON OVER for Imogene! It's on my radar and may be the only race that would necessitate a hotel stay that could survive my potential budget cuts. There were already a couple of other maybe's amongst the BQ gals for Imogene, so it would be so cool to meet you and some of the other people too!

Thanks everyone, glad my madness coming out in the form of miserable songwriting seems perfectly normal and typical to other runners....

L.A. Runner said...

I just entered the "madness" myself. I loved the song, too! Good luck in your upcoming race.